we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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