Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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