she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
