He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Still dying that you shit outside
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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