she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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