ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
