Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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