Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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