it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Randomize
