Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
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