im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
