I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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