just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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