So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
