I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
My penis needs a shock collar
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
