Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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