If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
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