I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
my being single is dangerous.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Randomize
