Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
