I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I can text with my tongue
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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