I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
