why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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