I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
His hands were made for my vagina.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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