Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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