Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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