i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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