Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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