You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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