This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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