part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
