As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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