you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
