I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
