So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
