I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
