i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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