your thong is hanging out like whoa
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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