Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
