oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
That reminds me...we need to get swords
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
