I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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