His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
