We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Dick very happy bro
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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