i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
