I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
