So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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