Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
