it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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