There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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