Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
