I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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